How to hide a broken heart

At sometime or another, it is a cross we will have to bear. It is at times like these that you need the Bee Gees, and a box of tissues.

            There is no telling how you will get over a broken heart, or if indeed you ever will. Different people, different ways. There is no fixed time-frame either. Sorry.

            The best thing to do is to allow a few days to wallow, to see if they come back on a white horse with flowers, apology and ring.

            Be wary of wallowing alone, it is very unhealthy. For every night of wallow, prescribe three nights out.

Lines not to fall for

‘Let’s just be friends.’ Impossible if they broke your heart. Why prolong the agony? Say you’ll think about it, and call them, maybe, in a few years.

‘I value our friendship too much to date you.’ Bastard. They don’t love you, never have, don’t even find you attractive. Move on. They’ll prevent you from meeting THE ONE—and make you miserable in the process.

‘I love you, but I can’t be with you.’ A coward. Walk away; even if you paid for them to shrink, it is still an impossible and exhausting situation.

‘You’ll always have a piece in my heart.’ True. Save the violins, stamp on it. Let them regret losing you.

‘It’s just was the wrong time, wrong place.’ The ONLY ‘it was wrong time/place’ was in Casablanca, which does not apply here. Poor excuse.

‘I’m sorry. Can we try again?’ How many times have you heard this before? Be honest. Once? Shame on them. Twice or more? Shame on you.

Some things are just not meant to be. Sometimes you grow apart, move on. You’ve tried, it didn’t work, learn and leave. Try to find someone who will appreciate you. Don’t kill each other’s chances of happiness and waste years on something that will never happen.

             Be honest. Be tough. Ask yourself: where do I see myself in ten years? What do I want to have achieved? What kind of person do I have to be with? What kind of person will encourage me to be the kind of person I most want to be?

            Anyway, you think you’ve got problems, pick up Romeo and Juliet and their dire situation makes everything pale in comparison. Take comfort in the fact that falling in and out of love is never out of fashion.

            Above all, believe in true love and know that men are like shoes. A couple is like a left and a right foot, and out there is your perfect fit. Sometimes you need to change styles and shop around to find it. Sometimes you have to break styles in, sometimes you like something unstylish but comfortable, and sometimes a style—as much as you like it—just doesn’t suit you and will never fit.

            Literary quotes may help, such as:

            ‘’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,’ from Tennyson, or the less literary ones of Miss Piggy: ‘Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.’

            Take solace in slushy movies from Sleepless in Seattle to Wuthering Heights. Distract yourself, and learn all the words to Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’. If all this doesn’t drive you out of the house, nothing will.

            But all the best fairy stories end ‘they lived happily ever after. . .’ And so will you; and if not, you can buy yourself an awful lot of Manolos while trying.

Depending on your circumstances you could always, in extreme cases, consider:

            Moving countries; Paris nearly worked for Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina.

            Changing phone numbers.

            Deleting the details or locking all contact info of the offending party in secure,

                        hidden place.

            Changing job.

            Changing hairstyle.

            Rearranging the flat. If you shared, change the locks.

            Removing every trace of them from view so you are not living with

                        constant reminders.

            Booking a holiday.

            Starting a new hobby.

            Joining a gym, or starting to go to the gym you are a member of.

            Doing thins you NEVER did with them.

            Going to new areas or places of interest.

            Rationing yourself to thinking of them for only twenty minutes a day,

                        and gradually decreasing.

            Banning yourself from talking about them to friends.

            Not dwelling on the past.

            And if all else fails: therapy—retail therapy.

Charlene tagged me. Now, I'm tagging TINA, MAPLE, MIA, EDMUND, LAURRAINE, and Ate MONICA! :p

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a list of their own 6 weird things in their blog as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I have short and stout fingers and they are superflexible. I can bend my thumb at a 90° angle.

2. I have a queen-sized bed but I only sleep on one side (left side of the bed). I never sleep on the other side. It just feels weird sleeping on the right side of it.

3. I only once joined an outing with friends/classmates. That was in 2nd year HS--Anna Ross' birthday celebration at Island Cove, Cavite.

4. I know how to ride a bike, roller skate, and ice skate but, I never learned how to ride a trolly. I'm having difficulty with my balance when I try riding a trolly.

5. I do not eat my french fries without ketchup. What I always do is put ample amount of ketchup on my fries before I eat it. I don't dip my fries in ketchup.

6. When I'm really furious, I speak in fluent english. (My boyfriend can attest to this one. Haha)

ONE MORE THING: I'm not addicted to chocolates. Not my type.

**this blog entry is inspired by Joei**

Stage 1: Denial

            At first you are shocked. You keep telling yourself it's not happening--that you are only dreaming. You convince yourself that tomorrow, when you wake up, nothing's changed. What you thought you heard/witnessed is only a state of mind.

Stage 2: Anger

            You're wrong. Everything was REAL. You can't believe it yourself and that frustration leads to anger and resentment. You're mad because you were not able to save the relationship from falling apart. You feel this way because you know you did everything to make things work but, fate has given up on you. You're furious about everything and everyone else.

Stage 3: Bargaining

             You tell yourself there is still hope. You exhaust all your efforts to work things out. You bargain. You make promises. All of sudden, you are willing to change (for the better), if it's the only way to have him/her back again. You will do everything. You know you will because that's how you love.

Stage 4: Depression

              You feel exasperated. You get tired of wanting to fix things between the two of you because you see clearly, it's just not working. You drown yourself in tears each and every night, as if tears would wash away the blues. You blame yourself for not being the perfect partner (as if there's a truth to perfection) you could have been. And yes, you often hear yourself say all of the "should have-would have-could have's" you can think of. You turn your back to the world because you think that every single thing or person would remind you of the person who has turned his/her back on you. You act strange. You pretend.

Stage 5: Acceptance

              I think this is the most crucial part. How will you know that you really have accepted what fate has brought you? How will you know that you are ready to go to the warpath once again? How will you know you are fully-armoured? How? They say it's simple: when you have already learned to forgive--yourself and the person who has caused you pain. This is the time when you wish each other's happiness and still choose to remain friends. When you know you've already learned this, then that's the only time you can tell yourself you are ready to move on and start anew.

***

The Law of Science:
"Nothing is displaced UNLESS it is replaced."

translated into

The Law of Love:
"You'll fall out of love ONLY if you fall for someone else."

She's a mess. She laughs with friends. She smiles at familiar faces. She wears this mask whenever she comes around people to conceal the real emotions she possesses inside. She wears a cloak--her security blanket--for all her frigid sentiments. In solitude, she found comfort. She gained sympathy in words. She's a fool.

The world has shut her out. She drowns herself in self-pity, enveloped with a melancholic disposition. This time, she prefers to stand alone and fight to win her own battles, unarmoured.

She'll be fine. She is me.

Anong mararamdaman mo kapag nalaman mong binabackstab ka ng mga taong itinuturing mong malalapit na mga kaibigan?